Jo and I were asked to emcee a good friend’s wedding lunch last weekend. While we’ve hosted weddings before, it was the first time we are hosting one together. It was also one of those very rare opportunities when I am asked to be the mandarin speaking emcee. People normally have an aversion when it comes to asking someone to speak in a language they scored D7 in. For those of you who are not familiar with the GCE examination system, the grades consist of a range where “A1” is the best possible score and “D7” is a nice way of saying I am better off learning the sign language.
The morning of the wedding did not start out well for us. We woke up slightly later than we intended to… In fact, we woke to a morning call from one of the groom’s helper informing us that we need to be at the hotel within the hour for the rehearsal. Much hilarity ensued as I scrambled to wash up and get my shirts ironed. Meanwhile, Jo calmly informed me that there really is no need to rush. As I frantically rummage through the wardrobe looking for my belt-that-refuse-to-be-found, she mumbled out the words that would strike fear into every married man’s heart. She was almost good to go, she just “needed to pick out what to wear and put her make up on”
As you can tell, while Jo and I are similar in many ways, we have some fundamental differences.
I was a nervous wreck on the taxi ride to the hotel. When I am nervous, my body, the wonderful machine that it is, automatically tries to help out by excreting an obscene amount of perspiration. Meanwhile Jo sits, cool as a cucumber, reasoning that there is nothing we can do anymore that could could get us to the hotel any earlier. You could only imagine how that made me feel.
So, we (by we, of course I mean “I”) were not exactly the picture of confidence when we finally met up with the groom. To be fair, we were not extremely late for the rehearsal (10 minutes), but I guess having an emcee who looked like he just stepped out of the shower and who was constantly tugging at his belt-less pants did not really inspire confidence.
Not surprisingly, the only person he could look to for assurance was actually Jo. Cool, calm looking Jo… and then she whipped out pieces of paper and started writing down the script…
Despite our best efforts, the wedding was almost perfect. The proceedings went without a hitch. And the mandarin emcee did NOT stubbornly stick to the script he got off Google Translate and keep telling the guests to have a pleasant evening at the lunch reception.
So…. Great Success!