Bernard Beer and Bernard *snigger* Cherry Beer at Literární Kavárna Retézová

Aside

I never really liked to use the cliched “Stepping into another world” to describe a place, but it really was the most apt expression for the feeling we got as we stepped into the Literární Kavárna Retézová

We found this little gem, literally just off the main roads of Staroměstské Náměstí (Old Town Square).

We were at the Astronomical Clock trying to watch the hourly dance of the 12 Apostles.

We KNOW that the hourly chiming of the Astronomical Clock is one of the most overrated and underwhelming performance in the world, but we were in Prague, and it’s one of those things you HAVE to do when you are in Prague.

Unfortunately, the rest of Europe seemed to have the same idea.

The square in front of the Clock was impossibly crowded, even though it was cold and raining. You could only get a good look at the 12 Apostles if you’re standing front and centre from the Clock. The Crowd started forming around the Clock at the half hour mark. If you’re there later than the quarter to the hour mark, you’re pretty much screwed. You can still watch the skeleton chime the bell and the 3 men shaking their heads, and there will be a million and one tour guides giving a play by play commentary of what is happening on the Clock in a million and three languages, BUT to quote the Soup Nazi, “No Apostles for you!”.

It was an odd little United Colors of Benetton for me, because you realize (with a bit of horror) that the one thing which unites people of all nationality, race and religion is a kitsch little dance by 12 wooden men…

After trying (unsuccessfully) to watch the Apostles for the third time, we decided we had enough and we ducked into a little ally just off the main streets where tourist ply…

The small and smoky (smoking is allowed inside) cafe has wicker chairs, and walls plastered with tonnes of black and white photographs of the Who’s Who of Czech Literaries. You can see the locals having great and seemingly philosophical discussions about life, or (as I like to believe) the beer on their table. You cannot help want to break out the novel you have been carrying in your bag or just take a pen to the napkin on the table and scribble (or doodle out) the Bestselling Novel that You Have Yet to Write. This looks to be the kind of place where the Next Great Novels will be written.

As for us, we were happy to just soak in the atmosphere with our beer.

A BERNARD ČERNÝ LEŽÁK s jemnými kvasnicemi or Dark beer for me…

And a BERNARD s čistou hlavou Višeň or *snigger* Cherry flavored (NON alcoholic) “Beer” for her…